Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
