threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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