On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
