I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
