hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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