His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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