I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
