thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
