I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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