When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize