I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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