$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
