yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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