I wanna bring you to show and tell
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
