So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
