google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
