we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
