rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
