Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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