is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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