I'm lost and stupid without you.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
