who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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