i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
