I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
