i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize