Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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