Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
