Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize