Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
