No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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