i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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