I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
