I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
