Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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