ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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