Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
