CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
