I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
