worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
