peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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