Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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