And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
