Your dad touched me again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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