I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
