his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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