They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
