i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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