i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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