Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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