Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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