do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
