Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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