my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
3pm strippers are depressing
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
