kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
