honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
