Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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