remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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