the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
