You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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