you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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