puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
