you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
