handjob tips. give me some.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
