Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
