this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
