Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
