so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
