Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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