I hope mine doesn't look like that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
