it's not cheating when I paid for it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
