Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize