Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
