I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is the high leading the old right now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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