I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
